Living in New York City is already expensive, even if you have a job. If you're still looking for work, the expenses will only be even more overwhelming.
In 2024, about a year after I was laid off, I faced a difficult decision: should I stay in New York, spend all my remaining savings, and gamble that I would find a job soon; or, like a grown person in their thirties, accept reality and move back to live with my parents in the suburbs of New England?
Leaving this matter behind has been very difficult for me to let go of my self-esteem. It feels like admitting defeat, and also like giving up a part of myself. After all, if I’m not just an anxious, depressed company employee with an unhealthy lifestyle, then who am I?
Success depends on how you define it.
After the layoffs, I began to realize how much my mental health was affected during my time at my previous job. Putting aside anxiety, outbreaks of hives, and the unhealthy habits I had developed, the most severe loss was my confidence. Without it, I felt completely disoriented.
On the advice of friends and family, I began to work with a professional coach. Whenever I find it difficult to articulate what I truly want to achieve in life, she helps me sort it out together.
This coach encouraged me to define “success” as those things that truly make me happier and more fulfilled. I know I don’t want to go back to my previous job, but I still can’t shake off the urge to chase high salaries and job titles, as well as the respect I thought they would bring.
More stories of moving back to live at home
My adult son has been living with me since he graduated from college, but now he has moved out. I never thought I would feel this sad.
After living abroad for 14 years, I moved back to my hometown in California. I am happier now than I have been in the past few years.
I am an only child. Buying a house together with my mother feels like the smartest way to prepare for our future.
I established my life in Los Angeles and even became a U.S. citizen. Later, I moved back to Taipei to be closer to my elderly parents.
Progress takes time.
With the help of a professional coach, I originally hoped that my luck would improve quickly after moving back home. However, it took me another 5 months to find a job. It was a part-time position at a non-profit organization with no benefits and a modest salary, but I couldn't afford to turn it down.
As a newly appointed operations manager, I joined a small team and began to establish an organizational system, sort out billing issues, and handle daily tasks. As one small victory after another accumulated, I could feel my confidence slowly returning.
Of course, I still live at home and don't have a full-time job, but I've started to realize that I have a special ability to bring order out of chaos. In fact, I'm quite good at it. I just need someone to remind me that I can really do it.
I began to extend this motivation to my life outside of work. I took my health seriously, lost 40 pounds, wrote a draft of a book, started dating again, and even plan to take a short trip to Ireland on my 35th birthday.
Although what I have now is still less than what I had before the layoffs, my life feels much more fulfilling.
My choices have paid off.
It's been almost two years since I moved back home. Recently, after turning down several opportunities that were too similar to my previous job, I finally found a full-time job that truly suits me.
To be honest, if I had known that the road ahead would be so long when I was laid off, I might not have been able to get out of bed at all. Today, I am very grateful that I didn’t stop back then because of my pride.
Who knows, maybe one day I'll even be able to move out of my parents' house.
