My husband and I have very different understandings of financial responsibilities.

When we feel stressed about money, my instinct is to calculate every detail carefully and take into account all possible financial variables. He, on the other hand, is the kind of person who looks at the big picture and thinks about how things might develop in the future. He is also more inclined to say, “We will always find a way to solve it.”

His attitude did indeed bring rewards in the past. Our first house was purchased based on his ideas; it cost less than $100,000 at the time. After 13 years of renovations, we recently sold it with a decent profit.

I know that some of the best things we've accomplished together might not have happened at all if my husband hadn't been willing to take risks. However, over the years, our differences have also caused some friction from time to time.

Now we're building a new house together, and we're trying to find a balance: on one side is my need to plan for unknown risks, and on the other side is his belief that we can always find a way out.

After 13 years, we took the risk of selling our house.

We lived in the same place for 13 years. My husband moved around a lot when he was a child, so he hopes that both of our daughters will have a stable home.

Leaving this house is filled with mixed emotions, but my eldest stepdaughter has just bought her own house, and my younger daughter is about to go to college. We are ready to embrace the next step in our lives.

We could have simply bought a ready-made house that needed renovation. Instead, we found a piece of land in southern Maine and decided it was worth taking a risk.

We've always loved that place. My family gathers there every year, and we spend a week by the sea. We hope our new property will allow us to maintain that lifestyle while avoiding the summer crowds: the plot is over 2.5 acres, there are hiking trails right next to it, and there are spots nearby where we can go kayaking and paddleboarding. It's also just a short drive from the beach.

We decided to go for it, and by the end of August, the old house was almost completely emptied. My stepdaughter started college on Wednesday, and on Thursday we moved the remaining items into the rented house, then on Friday we officially sold the old house.

Every budget estimate comes with a “unless” attached to it.

In September, we began to build this 1,500 square foot house.

Currently, we have to pay a monthly rent of $3,000, in addition to a construction loan. At the same time, we also have to keep track of a large number of expenses: timber and labor costs, excavation work, piping, electrical wiring, permits, and various finishing touches for the renovations.

My husband took on most of the construction work himself, which is why this project was able to be completed. If we had to outsource all the labor, we would probably not be able to afford to build the house at all right now.

However, this doesn't mean that the period has been uneventful or less stressful. We thought we had taken all factors into account, but each estimate came with a asterisk: unless the price of timber rises; unless the contractors' quotes change.

Unless we come across a bedrock layer – that is, the hard underlying rock beneath the soil layer – which could make the excavation costs very high. In that case, we might have to reconsider the foundation or adjust the entire plan after gaining a clear understanding of the underground conditions.

This makes me feel uneasy, but my husband won’t.

We have left room for adjustments.

My husband can imagine what this piece of land will become in the future, and he has great dreams for it.

He wants a garage and a small cottage for his family to stay in when they visit, and he also hopes the house could be a bit larger with better decoration in some areas. On the other hand, I keep bringing the discussion back to what we can actually afford right now, and how much savings we would prefer to keep instead of investing it all in the house.

After a lot of discussion, we decided to start with small steps. We will build the house according to today's lifestyle, while also – as per his requirements – leaving room for a possible future lifestyle. The garage and the cabin can be dealt with later. For now, our focus is on building a good house without stretching our budget too tightly.

This means that flexibility is essential. For example, my husband wanted a finished basement, and I agreed to it because that way we would have the opportunity to add a third bedroom in the future.

Although the initial cost difference between building a basement and an unfinished crawl space is not significant, if rock bed is encountered during excavation, the budget could exceed several thousand dollars, or even tens of thousands of dollars.

We're willing to give it a try with making it a basement, but if the excavation costs start to rise, we might have to back off and settle for a crawl space instead, reserving that extra bedroom for a later use.

This project, as well as my husband himself, have taught me that financial responsibility does not necessarily mean having to eliminate every type of risk. Instead, it's about knowing which risks are worth taking and being willing to change direction when necessary.